just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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