sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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