hell yes lets make some ravioli
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
