Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
