i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
