How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
