Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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