we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
