somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
