on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
