i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
