I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
