no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my shit smells like andre
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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