like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
