She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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