i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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