Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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