if you like me you must not know who I am
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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