well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
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I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
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I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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