make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
