So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
