After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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