her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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