normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
