You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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