Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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