the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
