I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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