Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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