He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
