I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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