I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
