Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
