My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
