I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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