Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
