If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
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He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
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I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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