So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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