I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just cut my nipple shaving
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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