allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
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So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
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For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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