sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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