I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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