no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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