Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
