I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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