When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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