you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize