Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
