I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
