Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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