If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
