its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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