Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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