how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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