I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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