Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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