I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
