And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
