every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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