that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize