If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You have to summon your inner elephant
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize