All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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